White Flag
by Justsweet-Jo
Summary: Everyone knows what happened in the epilogue, but what happened after? This is implied Harry and Hermione please no flames. OneShot.


Disclaimer: Obviously, I do not own Harry Potter it belongs to J.K Rowling and WB

A/N: I am an H/Hr at heart and even though my ship was sunken, I would forever love this ship.

Hope you like it; I just needed to write something after I read the epilogue to ease my pain a little, lol. I also got some ideas from Greys Anatomy…

Minor DH spoilers. My take after the epilogue.

Special thanks to proudravenclaw who helped me with the story

_I know you think that I shouldn't still love you,  
Or tell you that.  
But if I didn't say it, well I'd still have felt it  
where's the sense in that?_

I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder  
Or return to where we were

The children left to Hogwarts and now both couples were getting ready to cross back to London. They had decided to stop by and eat before returning to their perspective homes.

"I have to go to the loo before we go to the restaurant," said Hermione.

"Can you just wait till we get there, its not that far," replied Ron.

Hermione looked between Ron and Harry plus Ginny and just shook her head.

"I wont take long I promise"

"Would you like me to come with you?" asked Ginny.

"Oh no, that's okay Ginny I'm sure I could manage on my own thank you." With the last statement, she ascended the stairs to the loo.

Once inside she stood in front of the sink and looked at herself in the mirror. Suddenly her wall crumbled and she took hold of the sink on either side and took hold for dear life. Her breathing accelerated and tears started to sting her eyes.

It had been nineteen years, nineteen years since she made the conscious decision to love Ron.

She did love Ron and she would never regret her children she loves them with her life but her heart refused to let Harry go. It made her sad knowing that she will never love Ron the way she loves Harry. She closed her eyes trying desperately to calm down.

The connection she and Harry shared had deteriorated after fifth year and never repaired itself to the way it was. She longed to feel in accord with Harry. That was never going to happen again because they were both married. They were a big happy Weasley family; she sighed at that thought.

Thinking about that made her sick. The tears finally spilled and her hold on the sink tightened making her knuckles white. She couldn't even fandom why this still bothered her, so much time has passed there was no reason to long for a connection that existed in her early teens.

She could not bear to see her current state in the mirror knowing she looked pathetic that just made her sob louder.

She loved her family but what if… She stopped right there this was not the place for it. With out realizing it she had already sunken to the floor with her knees to her chest resting her forehead on top.

There was a knock on the door.

"Hermione are you in there?"

She knew that voice it was Harry.

Hermione leaped to her feet and looked in the mirror she was a fright. Her eyes were puffy and her cheeks stained with tears.

"Just a second Harry," said Hermione.

She quickly splashed some water in her face dried it off and headed outside.

"Are you okay Hermione?"

"Oh sure, I just wasn't feeling to well that's all needed time to refresh, I mean our kids are all grown up and ready for their own adventures, well not our kids but mine and Ron's and yours and Ginny's" she was rambling she knew but she couldn't help herself.

Harry knew Hermione well and he knew something was off. He furrowed his eyebrows at her still unbelieving that the children were the reason for her change, but still led her back to the others.

They began walking with Ginny and Ron in front of them talking about Quidditch most likely. Hermione stared at the display windows trying to get her mind off her recent display, but each time she tried to forget memories of her and Harry kept slipping in her head.

Harry fell in step besides her trying not to look concern. Hermione seemed lost a blank stare dulled her usually bright chocolate eyes. Hermione suddenly stopped at a display window featuring random family portraits.

Harry came to a halt when he noticed that once again Hermione had fallen behind. He carefully approached her and watched her blankly stared at the portraits and photos of people looking extremely happy maybe to happy. Harry felt awkward standing next to an almost comatose Hermione.

In an attempt to break the silence, he lamely said, "So Ron told me that Hugo…" He did not get to finish because Hermione decided in that moment to finally speak.

"I'm not happy and I don't think I have been in a long time, I have been numb, just going with the motion almost dead inside," Hermione blurted out.

Harry taken back by her declaration looked around to see if any one had heard her. Ron and Ginny still walked talking animatedly among themselves.

Hermione continued, "I try to stop myself from thinking about you and I can't seem to stop, and I think you should know that I love you."

"I love you to Hermione you are my family".

"No you don't understand. I love you. Not just, I love you as my friend but in love with you in that crazy, I will never leave you always stand by your side against all odds and everyone else love you. Love you in the way that at 14 I knew what it meant when thinking about you all the oxygen seemed to escape my lungs. Love you in that I will through myself in front of the Avada Kedavra for you, scary I know; which makes me hate you, love you especially because it is you that prevents me from being in love with my husband." Hermione exhaled, exhausted with her declaration not knowing were all that came from. Actually she knew where all that came from years of bottling them up.

Harry was not expecting that. His face showed fear with a shocking expression he did not know what to say. The thought that his best friend had been harboring these feeling for so long made his stomach clench.

"But Ron and the your kids"

With that statement, she snapped out of whatever zone she was just moments ago.

"Oh Harry, I'm oh my, I love them I do with all my heart and my kids they are my whole life. Please forget this ever happen."

"What? How can you expect me…?"

"Hey Hermione, Harry come on" Ron yelled almost near the restaurant.

Hermione looked at Harry one last time before returning to her husband. Still confused and wanting answers on what had happened he followed behind her.

They entered the restaurant and saw Ginny saving a table for them. Ron sat beside his sister and Harry sat beside Hermione. A waiter soon came to give them their menus. Harry had his menu standing up. He caught a glimpse of Hermione at the corner of his eye. She still looked flushed and weary.

The waiter soon came taking their orders.

"I'll have the beef stew and to drink some tea, please," Ginny, said handing her menu to the waiter. Then she turned to Harry and smiled brightly while taking his hand in hers on top of the table.

They all finished their orders and Ginny still kept a hold of his hand. Harry turned to see Hermione her eyes fixed on the table where his hand and Ginny's were. He felt a sudden rush of guilt holding his own wife's hand; he gently removed his hand from her grasp. Ginny just looked at Harry, shrugged her shoulders, and started a conversation.

They all gathered in small talk waiting for their orders to arrive. Hermione still tensed and she did not participate in the conversations. The orders came and she was only picking at her food. Harry was surprised to see how attuned he was to her now.

"So I was telling my wife here that we should give it another go and have another Weasley, or maybe renew our vows or something," Ron blurted out with some food still in his mouth.

Hermione gave a panic glanced at Ron and her hands instantly go under the table and she started fidgeting with them.

"Oh, Hermione don't look so scared it is a wonderful idea then we can all have a set of three," responded Ginny brightly.

Hermione managed a small smile and turned to Ron "I don't know Ron we need to discuss this…in private."

Harry did not like the idea. Hermione was unstable right now and he dint think she needed to worry about this right now, and they needed to talk first.

"Ruin the fun of spontaneity why don't you," Ron said in a chuckle while going back to his food.

Harry could still feel the discomfort Hermione was feeling, he looked back at her, and she too looked at him. His throat tighten there were so much sadness and confusion and more importantly guilt in them he wondered why Ron did not even noticed. With out thinking he took one of his hands under the table to intertwine his hand in hers and squeeze for support.

Hermione released a breath she did not know she was holding and relax somewhat. She still could not believe she blurted all that out to Harry. Who did she think she was disrupting Harry's happy existence she was not a twenty year old anymore for Merlin's sake there was no reason for to act like a lovesick puppy? She was a grown woman with a family that loved her it was time to let go and accept the decisions that she made.

They all sat there, the two Weasely's unaware of Hermione discomfort. What was he supposed to do with the information that his best friend had given him. What bothered him the most was the fact that when it came to Hermione there always seemed to be many emotions that would a rise within him.

Harry decided a long time ago that he should make a mice package for Hermione and label her as a sister. There done it should be that simple. Nevertheless, Hermione would never fit into a neat mold would she? She would always be more; she represents more.

They were still at the table conversation light mostly between the red heads. Harry could not help but steal glances at Hermione. The years had been good to her; she blossomed. There was a unique beauty to her gain by intelligence. This added to her sophistication something that Ginny never had. Ginny was beautiful no doubt but while hers was obvious, Hermione's was not it was something you came to see while getting to know her.

Through out lunch he held Hermione's hand under the table. It was reassuring and comfortable it felt right. Guilt washed over Harry as he realized that his loving wife was next to him unaware of that one of his hand was under the table holding another women's hand. Ginny he loved her, they had been married for nineteen years and she had given him three children, the family he forever longed for. Hermione's earlier declaration had shifted something in him that he was not quite ready to accept.

Memories of him and Hermione flashed through his head. Moments where their connection was so intense there needed to be no words spoken. There was the physical contact there was between them and he would savor it because it was a reminder that he was loved.

After that entire connection between them, he through it away and completely dismissed her, her feelings, her concerns always choosing someone else over her. Yet she still loved him.

He made a decision. While he and Hermione nodded and smiled when they need it to he gathered a napkin under the table and excused himself to the loo.

"Pardon me do you have a pen I can borrow" Harry asked the host of the restaurant.

"Sure," the young women replied.

Harry quickly scribbled on the napkin and put it away on his pocket and carried on to the restroom.

He checked to see if he was alone only one person was near the sink ready to leave. Once he did Harry started to pace he did not know what he was doing but he knew that it needed to be done for his sanity. Harry slicked his hand through his hair and murmured _Fuck_. He owed Hermione and himself that much. Consequences be damned he was always a risk taker and took the situations as they came. As he headed back outside his last thought was, forgive me Ginny.

When Harry returned to the table they were already getting ready to leave. While everyone was saying good-bye, Harry carefully approached Hermione and enveloped her in a hug. Hermione seemed hesitant at first she looked so vulnerable in that moment it broke his heart.

Once they broke away from the embrace, Harry took a hold of her hand and slipped the piece of paper into her hand. Hermione looked up at him confused. Then she recognized something in his look that she had not seen in so long. He was communicating with her and it said _Just Take It, No Questions._ She nodded her head and took the paper.

Once the two couples were outside they took their respective spouses hand and carried on their separate ways. Both Harry and Hermione glanced back at the same time their eyes locked and quickly looked away.

Ron and Hermione arrived home.

"I'm going to take a quick nap, then," Ron said as he entered his home and stretched heading up the stairs.

"Sure, Ron have a good one," replied Hermione. Ron took a step down to kiss Hermione on the lips but she turned away in order for Ron to get her cheek instead.

Ron looked at Hermione curiously. "Is everything alright?"

"Of course Ron just feeling a little tired that's all."

"Do you want to come upstairs with me then, maybe we could you know," he waggled his eyebrows in that comical way of his.

Hermione tried to smile but it came out forced its okay and shook he head. Ron nodded in acceptance and headed up the stairs again.

Hermione walked to the living room and set her self down on the armchair truly feeling exhausted.

Ron came down half way and peered down and spoke "Hermione, you are happy with me aren't you?"

Hermione startled by his voice looked up, he seemed vulnerable and child like. She felt she had to ease his mind and forced herself to be happy when she replied "Of course Ron, never felt happier."

"Oh, good." Ron sounded relief and before he headed up the stairs, he heard Hermione speak.

"You know I love you Ron, and I would never do anything to hurt you intentionally."

"Yeah I know, I love you too," Ron said and disappeared to their room.

Once Hermione heard the door shut from upstairs, she stood up to take the piece of paper Harry had given her from her pocket.

She sat back down and read it.

MEET ME AT THE LONDON EYE…

10:00 TONIGHT

She could not help but feel gitty like a schoolgirl and then took the paper and held it to her chest and smiled. She needed this just this thing for her and her only. She deserved to explain herself to let her mind rest in peace for the last time. In addition, what ever followed she would handle it. She did not mean to change anything; maybe it was naïve of her to think of that after she dropped that bomb on Harry. However, Harry was taking the first step and she would follow.

It was nine and Hermione headed upstairs to grab her coat. She saw Ron sound asleep in their bed. She took one last glance at him and walked away. She started to walk to the Eye. It was ten and the Eye shimmered with twinkling lights turning slowly for the couples. Hermione walked through the path of lighted trees toward the figure she knew so well. She walked toward him.

"Harry"

_I will go down with this ship  
And I won't put my hands up and surrender  
There will be no white flag above my door  
I'm in love and always will be_

_White Flag by Dido _


End file.
